Now that Obama has all but clinched the Democratic nomination (although Mike Gravel is insisting his campaign still has gas left), his next immediate task will be to contemplate his vice presidential nomination. Hillary Clinton's name is predictably being bandied around the media, but she doesn't fit the campaign's "hope and change" bill. Better for Obama to nominate a fresh face, someone who will blend right in with the novelty of his campaign. After all, Obama has only been in the public consciousness for two years. Hillary Clinton collectible nutcrackers have been around longer than that. In the interest of bipartisanship, here are several examples of the Democrat Party's youngest and hippest, all of them natural selections for Obama's veep.
Senator Amy Klobuchar
-- The feisty (and legitimately witty) senator from Minnesota is a ripe 48 years young, an underage minor as far as the octogenarian-ridden Senate goes. Elected in 2006 against a hapless GOP challenger, Klobuchar is pro-abortion, pro-gay marriage, a proponent of universal healthcare, a critic of the Iraq war, and a Gemini. She's also a card-carrying woman, which would help pacify the Geraldine Ferraro-Erica Jong wing of the Democrat Party.
Keith Olbermann
-- Don't let that grey hair and propensity for dementia fool you. Olbermann is only one year older than Klobuchar and one of the least aged opinion-makers on cable news today. In addition, he wields hegemonic, Emperor Palpatine-like control over the young whippersnappers in the liberal blogosphere. His main contribution to the public discourse consists of screaming bromides like "Mr. Bush, shut the hell up!" and "You're a fascist! Get a t-shirt that says 'fascist' on it!" into the camera, all of which have the potential to liven up an otherwise bland presidential speech. Additionally, he has ranted and raved against Hillary Clinton's tendency to campaign "like a Republican."
Meghan McCain
-- Unlikely seeing as how she's dedicated to electing her father, but she voted for John Kerry in 2004 and claims to be "liberal on social issues." Plus she's widely sought for her trenchant political analysis ("Mitt didn't keep it real.") and her hip cultural opinions (on Tila Tequila: "It's a bisexual dating show! It's hilarious!"). And can you imagine what a shot across the bow an Obama-McCain ticket would be to her father? As Meghan might say, oh snap!
Dalton Hatfield
-- America's most fervent 11-year-old Hillary-supporter could spell doom for Obama's successors. According to the AP, the young West Virginian sold his video games and his bicycle to raise money and personally presented Bill Clinton with a $440 check. The potential fallout is alarming: if 11-year-olds start following Hatfield, they could swing the momentum towards Hillary when she runs for the third time in 2016. Obama needs to appoint Hatfield his running mate now to avoid a future electoral bloodbath.
The Girl in the 1964 Daisy Ad
-- The little girl in the President Lyndon Johnson's most notorious campaign ad -- portrayed picking daisies and counting their petals in a field as a nuclear bomb goes off -- remains one of the Democrat Party's most powerful images. Although she's six, Daisy Girl is a survivor and could provide President Obama with wise counsel on a number of relevant topics, particularly what to do if Barry Goldwater decides to fire an atomic weapon at you and why America's enemies think flowery meadows are a prime target for a nuclear strike. Definitely a solid choice if Obama wants to challenge McCain's reputation as the "security candidate."